JUST SAY NO

I resigned from a lucrative gig today. It involved reviewing medical records and writing letters to appeal denials of claims on behalf of a hospital. This has been a two-month arduous ordeal. While it paid handsomely, be barriers from the part-time employment process to getting access to the medical records I would be reviewing with every twist and turn.

I'm limited in technological knowledge if their instructions and organization are not adequately developed or don't want to do the work. It's all of it. The ongoing frustration of dealing with it became too much. Sometimes, whatever financial or intellectual rewards you receive aren't worth the hassle. At this stage in my life, I don't need it.

My life in the past 18 months has turned into sheer chaos. I was propelled into political activism by the presidential election in 2016. Even before that time, I had participated in caucuses in Washington. I had high hopes our country would continue on a course of compassion and inclusiveness. The outcome of the election was devastating. After the initial shock, many of us became energized. Some became active when they had never done anything political in their lives. Each day brings another blow, resulting in disbelief and sadness at the direction our country is heading. Nevertheless, we will persist.

I agreed to be the County Chair for the Democratic Party in Llano County almost a year ago. I had yet to learn the amount of time this would consume nor the challenges I would face in working with volunteers when I accepted the position and was consequently elected as the Chair. It's my small part in trying to change our state and nation's course. Since I have an assertive personality with a compulsion to do the best job I can do, I am sometimes my own worst enemy. My approach with volunteers doesn't always result in a positive outcome. I sometimes expect others with like minds to be as enraged as I am at the current direction Congress and the White House are taking. I realize I am unrealistic. Only some have the urge to fight. While some might vehemently disagree with decisions made by the White House and Congress, they want to sit it out and hope it will go away. I'm learning to accept them for what they can give or do, but it's hard. It takes tremendous energy to work with volunteers. Sometimes I forget I'm a volunteer, too, and I can "just say no." I'm starting to know my limits, although saying "no" to something you're passionate about is difficult.

Serving on the Property Owner's Association board in my town of 7700 properties was a way for me to contribute, and it had nothing to do with politics. I wanted to be active in my community and contribute in whatever way I could. It was unrealistic to believe I would be elected, as I'm becoming known as "one of those nutcase liberals" in this town full of wealthy Republicans. Much to my surprise, I was unopposed and won. Little did I know that I would spend countless hours performing tasks as a board member every week. I've been given the lion's share of duties because I'm a female. It will be a different world next year, as I was too new and naive to understand how work was being distributed––live and learn.

Recently, I was asked to serve on the board member of Highland Lakes Texas Exes. The organization's primary purpose is to raise money for scholarships to the University of Texas. Heaven knows we need more people to be formally educated in this state. After I agreed to help, I discovered I would be doing publicity for the club's activities. In the rural area where I live, newspapers have very few reporters. If you want an article written about anything, you must write it yourself. You also become the photographer. What's an article without pictures? It has become another time-consuming "job" with a greater purpose. I was doing publicity for the county Democrats for a brief time, but I discontinued performing that task after getting negative feedback about an article I had written. I suggested that she could write them herself. Yes, I'm learning to "just say no."

I joined a writers' critique group about a year ago, where I enjoyed sharing my essays once a month at the club meeting. The club also hosted a writers' critique group twice a month, where members would read their work and receive feedback from other writers. Shortly after joining the club, a smaller group split from the original club. I was asked by the leader of the splinter group to join them. I liked her and enjoyed her poetry. It's no secret that I'm not keen on having my work critiqued. I rejected a journalism scholarship in college because the newspaper's sponsor wanted to dictate the articles I wrote. My thought was that she could write them herself.

It didn't take long for the writers' critique group to get on my last nerve. It became a grammar session, with most of the time spent editing a particular writer's submission. She has dyslexia and is incapable of writing complete sentences. One of the members delights in correcting grammar. I wanted to bang my head on the table until I passed out––anything to stop the pain. Recently, I took a sabbatical from the group until after the first of the year. Maybe the woman with dyslexia will have finished her great American novel by then, or perhaps I will have more patience by 2019. It isn't very likely on both counts. Sometimes, saying "no" is vastly rewarding.

Today is a great day. I'm not poor or rich, but I am less stressed, and that's worth millions! I have eliminated two significant sources of frustration in my life.