GEEZER DATING: Various Experiences in 2019


Dating in my late 60s is fraught with missteps, misconnections, and misery. My partner died almost three years ago, and I only started dating in the past five months. What in the world was I thinking? The romantic notion of having someone with whom to share my life, attend events, and travel together led me on a journey to find a partner. When one has experienced great love and death comes knocking, it's next to impossible to replace that feeling. Oh, it's not possible to replace anyone with someone new. If the expectation is to find compatibility and anything else is the icing on the cake, it's not asking much. Or is it?

One of the first men I dated was the quintessential lady's man. We met at a party, and sparks flew between us. It was the first time I had even thought about dating in a long time. He was quite a few years older than I was, but when he walked into a room, his aura filled every inch of airspace, and the years seemed to melt away. We engaged in constant conversation and what felt like a mutual admiration society when we were alone. Alas, he couldn't stop over-the-top flirting with other women when we were in public, including waitresses and my friends. He also wanted to see other women, but I have an issue with sharing. We had a good run, albeit brief.

After the previous experience and realizing I missed companionship, I quickly joined an online dating site. The men I met lived in Austin. Since I spend most weekends at my daughter's house in Steiner Ranch, meeting them for coffee was convenient. As I've aged, intolerance and impatience have become frequent personality companions. I am attracted to intelligent men who take care of themselves, including leading a healthy lifestyle and having pride in their appearance. 

My days of being in a classroom are over. Most of the men I've met have been fine, but not anyone I want to spend more time with. One man kept sending me parts of a book he loved that was satirical and filled with metaphors. He challenged me to find hidden meanings by reading one book section. He kept telling me to try again when I didn't answer correctly. Hello?  

One man was a retired professor from Cornell University. Since I was the former administrator of the Cornell Institute for Rehabilitation Medicine, I thought it might be a great connection. Wrong. Within minutes of meeting him, he told me about Medicare paying for his penile implant. I wasn't sure what offended me more---the fact Medicare paid for his operation or that he would even mention it the first time we met. I politely declined when he later asked if he could see me again. I don't do crazy.

I've avoided political discussions with most people this past year due to the emotional and sometimes irrational exchanges. Some people can't help themselves and want to go there, even though I'm clear that I don't like to discuss politics. My parents always taught me not to discuss politics or religion in public. It's good advice because it doesn't take much to trigger either person. Political conversations, especially now, often deteriorate into emotional outbursts. I usually excuse myself and walk away.

The dating site has many pictures of men holding fish, a dead deer, or astride a motorcycle. Who told them that dead fish, deer, or bikes would entice women to reach out to them? Some look like the Unabomber and probably live in shacks in the middle of nowhere. Yes, the pickings are slim.

I'm too particular for dating, or I'm too old, or maybe it's both. I've taken a break from meeting men on the dating site. I have several good male friends who sometimes accompany me to events. I'm good with that. One can never have too many friends.

My brother, who self-administers insulin injections, always orders chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, corn, and bread at restaurants. I can't help myself, but I often feel compelled to ask him what the heck he's doing by making such unhealthy choices. The last time I admonished him for his food choices, he replied, "You're the reason I'm not married." I laughed and responded, "Actually, I'm also the reason I'm not married." Being single in my late 60s isn't so bad.  








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