LIFE DURING DARK TIMES


Due to health issues, the past few months have been a rocky road for me. Nothing life-threatening, but definitely uncomfortable for a while. I learned a few things about myself during recovery for each event. I do not like to be vulnerable or dependent on anyone. And, even though it's something I dislike, I yielded to it when I needed it most. I learned to ask for help. Yet, the lonely hours of suffering took a toll on my psyche. I've been in a mental fog since the first part of February. Now that I've recovered, the continued social isolation is painful, possibly because I have already spent a significant amount of time alone.
Not spending time with my daughter and grandchildren has been the toughest. Also, my lifestyle has been active and enjoyable for the past few years, with board meetings, volunteering, hiking, and writing. Most of that has been placed on hold for an indefinite period. Maybe longer than any of us can imagine. Adjusting to this new reality is challenging, yet it's a necessity.
My worry centers around the households where abuse and addiction are occurring. I envy the families and couples who have each other while they shelter in place. On the other hand, what would be more miserable than being stuck in the house with a partner you didn't like?
Prayer is not something I engage in regularly. However, I find myself saying prayers on most days. I pray for my daughter and her family. I pray for my Mother and other much-loved relatives. I pray for my friends and their families. I pray for those who continue to run into the Coronavirus fire to help those who are ill. I pray that this pandemic does not reach those I love and not be as bad as we keep hearing. I don't want anyone to suffer. I pray that if I succumb to it, it won't be horrific; if it is, I will die quickly. I bargain with God to take me rather than anyone I love, particularly my grandchildren. I've had an adventurous, beautiful whole life. Their journey has only just begun.
And I'm praying for you.
While going through this, I will listen to the birds outside my window and enjoy nature more than I ever did in the past. I will find comfort in my loyal canine companion, Paddy. I will limit my time listening to the news. I will treasure each moment I spend with family and friends on Facetime. 
When it's all over, I know I will appreciate the things I once took for granted. I will hug those I love tighter and tell them more often how much I care about them. Life is too precious and fleeting not to.

💕

Comments

  1. Martha K SmithOctober 21, 2021 at 8:47 AM

    Hello Dana--it was a pleasure to meet you this morning at the Hula Hut. I'm enjoying reading your essays and particularly agree with this one. Did you have Miss Boyd and Mrs. Hudson for English at PHS? Did you do Ready Writing in the UIL competitions? I found it fun.

    A post on my blog, that I published not long after the one you did, above, is https://mksconbrio.com/music/corona-comforts/, You might also like this one about Borger: https://mksconbrio.com/art/boomtown-texas/. Martha

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