AN ATHEIST IN THE FOXHOLE

 

I’ll admit the old aphorism “There are no atheists in a foxhole” applies to me.  Religion, especially the organized kind, is not my cup of tea.  It’s just that I’ve known too many “Christians” throughout my life who were anything but followers of Jesus.  Often, they are nasty individuals who use their “Christian values” as a weapon. People who are faithful followers are rare indeed.  They aren’t the ones who constantly wear Christianity on their sleeves by praying and declaring their faith.  They aren’t the ones who feel superior because they attend church. They aren’t business owners that advertise as “Christian” (run, don’t walk!). They aren’t the owners of assault weapons. I’ve known a few people who quietly follow the teachings of Jesus by loving others, but I’ve also known many who don’t identify as Christians and are dedicated to a life of service.

 

I was raised in a church and forced to attend every time the doors opened.  My father was one of the church leaders but was a brutal bully at home.  I remember questioning Christianity and religion at age 6.  It didn’t make sense to me how someone could act holy at church and as a devil at home.  As an adult, I rejected it for many years but would sometimes tiptoe to a church for a while, only to be more comfortable elsewhere.  When I recently learned that members of a local non-denominational church objected to my presence because I was an “evil” Democrat, that sealed the deal of not ever wanting to be around self-professed “Christians.”  I recommend the book by Reverend John Pavlovitz, “If God is Love, Don’t be a Jerk.”

 

Religion, God, and Jesus are not part of my daily life. I am drawn to the teachings of all the great philosophers and spiritual leaders, including Jesus. I like the concept that we are One with God and each other.  Nature brings me closer to all things spiritual. When I’m in a contemplative frame of mind, I search for the possibility of something greater.  It comforts me to believe this world isn’t all there is, and there’s another realm for our spirits or souls to go to after our bodies are finished with us.  

 

Several members of my family recently had COVID. I was in that foxhole and prayed for them many times.  Fortunately, they all recovered, including my 93-year-old mother. (Vaccines work!)

 

My daughter was on a business trip in New Orleans this week.  I texted her yesterday to ask when she’s returning to Austin. When she told me on Thursday, it concerned me because of the predicted ice storm beginning in the wee hours of Thursday and continuing throughout the day.  She decided to leave Wednesday and texted me ten hours later that she had just experienced a horrifying landing in Dallas.  Her first flight out of New Orleans had been canceled, so she found a later flight to Austin via Dallas.  Dallas was in the throes of a winter storm with many canceled flights.  It looked like the DFW airport would be her hotel for the night.  Four hours later, she texted that she had landed in Austin and sent another text an hour later when she arrived home.  It had been a foxhole kind of day.

 

I don’t know if prayers work, as it’s not logical that God would “save” my daughter from COVID or a plane crash, as little children are harmed and murdered daily. Why doesn’t God save them?  I know the believers would say God has a purpose for everything.  My logical mind doesn’t entirely accept that trite phrase and don’t get me started on the “I’m blessed” sentiment.  Being grateful works for me!  Praying makes me feel better because I’m trying to bring comfort to a stressful situation, and a part of me hopes it works.  Besides, I pray so infrequently that I must get God’s attention when he finally hears from me!  Thank you, God, for bringing my daughter home!