AN UPDATE ON STELLA, THE LUNATIC STALKER
As a young woman, I never would have predicted that another woman would stalk me in the autumn years of my life. The legal definition of stalking or harassment involves a threat, yet "emotional stress" falls into the harassment category. I've yet to feel threatened, but one never knows what's coming.
The stalker (I'll use the pseudonym "Stella") contacted me shortly after Jack, an ex-boyfriend, died in early 2017. Jack and I were a couple for several years, beginning in 2010. I was the only woman besides his wife with whom he lived. Our whirlwind romance included traveling worldwide as we enjoyed every minute of our time together. I was his first girlfriend in almost 50 years. Jack's grown children (ages 40+) began interfering in our relationship because they feared losing their much-anticipated large inheritance. I also understood losing their mother and seeing their father with another woman so quickly was tough on them. Their unrelenting drama, directed at me, became too much to endure. I eventually moved out of the house we shared and moved on with my life, but we never lost touch. I was aware Jack was seeing other people after we split. My life didn't stop, either. I had other boyfriends, fell in love periodically, and kept moving on like a rolling stone. Our love for each other never ended. Eight months after we parted ways, he was diagnosed with cancer and died two and a half years later. His death left a hole as big as Texas in my heart, but time and other interests have healed the pain I felt at one time.
Stella and I exchanged many friendly emails and texts for months after Jack died. She delighted in telling me that Jack said I had threatened his children with a gun. I've done and said many regrettable things, but I never threatened anyone with a weapon (except two times when men chased me while running!).
Stella and I became Facebook friends at first. She made many positive comments about essays I posted on my Facebook page. I never realized the extent of her insertion into my life until she mentioned she would be in New York at the same time as me and had bought tickets to see Michael Moore for the same performance. Earlier, I posted the performance I would attend on Moore's page. Lesson learned. She had been tracking my activity on Facebook. Stella wanted to meet after the show to drink a toast to Jack and his children. I declined the invitation.
I continued to suggest that Stella move on with her life, especially for the sake of her new relationship. I never told her what Jack said about her. His comments are now water under the proverbial bridge. Her behavior is like the mean girl in grade school who would stick out her tongue and call nasty names every time you walked by her on the playground.
Stella has not stopped contacting me. After my book was published almost two years ago, she wrote a scathing review on Amazon. She accused me of slandering her. The book contains a story about Jack and mentions two unnamed ex-girlfriends who repeatedly contacted me after his death. Amazon removed her review because of her hateful comments.
Stella attacked someone on my blog who had complimented me about a poem I had written on a day when I was missing Jack. Each time Stella surfaced, I implored her to get counseling. I blocked her on Facebook. I prevented her from calling, texting, or emailing me. She can no longer make comments on my blog.
It's now been three and a half years since Jack's death. I usually receive a letter from her every few months. I never gave her my address, so she must have spent some time tracking it. In her letters, she emphasizes that Jack loved several women. Stella criticized my writing skills and listed the names of his girlfriends, or "mares," as she called them. She bragged that she had authored three published books and was a "professional reviewer." She even sent me a periodical
Several months ago, I sent her a cease and desist letter, but she has continued. Threatening her with a lawsuit didn't work, and Ignoring her didn't work. She repeatedly sends messages in envelopes from cheap hotels in different states. I decided not to sue her because someone as mentally imbalanced as she is probably doesn't have two cents to rub together. Jack would talk about how boring she was; all she could talk about was George Eliot. He also shared that she had emotional issues and wouldn't leave him alone. She's now shifted her obsessiveness from Jack to me. Lucky me.
Well, Stella doesn't know me very well. One has to wonder how many letters she will write to me. And, if she doesn't like what I've written in my book and blog, then she should write her own story- unless she can't write in complete sentences. Her goal is to (1) change my perception of my relationship with Jack and (2) remove this story from my blog. Since she's challenged me, I will update this story after receiving each letter.
My wish for Stella is to find peace. Perhaps, when her inner demons are defeated, the shackles around her heart will fall, and she'll be free to love again. But first, she needs to stop fixating on the former girlfriend of a man who has been dead for over three years! When I objectively look at Stella's behavior, I realize she might be experiencing dementia. In that case, maybe she'll forget my address!
Jack---thanks for the amusement your one-time caretaker and bed partner has given me! If Jack were still alive, I would tell him that I fully understand what he shared about Stella. Jack was a brilliant man. I'm surprised Jack spent even 10 minutes with this lunatic. Perhaps Jack tolerated it to have someone push his wheelchair during his last visit to Europe before dying.
UPDATE: It's now September 16, 2020 I recently received another postcard from her criticizing my writing skills and telling me she would continue sending me letters and postcards because I accused her of stalking in my book. She stated that all she did was ask me to meet her for a drink after a Broadway performance by Michael Moore in NYC. How would Stella (Alex) define sending me the same message every few weeks? Let me see...would that be stalking, or how about harassment? Okay, Alex, sorry I accused you of stalking. Perhaps a lunatic harasser would be more accurate. Keep those cards and letters coming, Alex! LMAO!
Hey, Stella: Does this look like a man who doesn't love his partner?
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