GRANDMAMA KAREN


It was a Grandmama Karen kind of day. After I parked in a lot near the sub shop, I was walking toward the building when a humongous pickup truck pulled alongside me and sounded an ear-piercing horn. The coveted space he wanted was occupied by a car that, in his world, was taking too long to back out. Heaven forbid if a 40-year-old man couldn't park a few feet away from the building like I did, a crippled old woman!
Why are so many pickup drivers such a**hats (except for my friends who drive pickups)? They drive aggressively and almost rear-end your car if you don't go fast enough or don't move to another lane to get out of their way. This is especially true for unnamed small body-part men driving gigantic white pickups. Second place goes to Tesla drivers (again, except my good friends who own Teslas).
Anyway, I walked to his window and yelled, "GOOD GRIEF! STOP HONKING YOUR HORN RIGHT NOW!! JUST STOP IT!!" And, just like that, he stopped. I know, it's the Wild, Wild West, and he might have shot me, but he was probably afraid of this unhinged woman yelling at him.
After I snagged my grandson's lunch, I headed toward the Eanes Elementary School cafeteria to enjoy sharing a sandwich with him. I arrived early and got acquainted with the friendly school security officer on his fourth day there. He recently retired from the Austin Police Department. His primary duty while in the cafeteria is to grant children their requests to go to the bathroom. It's a tough job, but it's nothing like patrolling the streets of Austin where goobers carry guns and cops don't know who's the bad guy.
I asked the officer ahead of time to tell Patrick that he would be watching him. When he greeted Patrick, he said, "Hi, Patrick, I'm the Security Officer here; your grandmother wants me to keep an eye on you, so that's what I will do." Patrick's eyes grew three sizes, and this usually garrulous little guy was stunned silent.
I've also enlisted the assistance of the Eanes ISD superintendent, who I've gotten acquainted with at the Westlake Rotary Club that I recently joined. He promised to visit my grandchildren in their classroom to let them know I had asked him to watch out for them. I asked the other members to pray for their poor teachers during last week's Rotary meeting. God help their teachers!
My grandkids haven't a chance. I feel sorry for them. (not)
(The photo is the infamous, despicable "Central Park Karen" calling 911 because she saw a Black man birdwatching and taking professional photos of the birds. She was fired for the incident after it went viral. Ironically, she sued (and lost) her former employer for racial discrimination. We should update her moniker to "No Insight Karen" or "Clueless Karen," or how about "Racist Karen?")





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