LOST CONNECTIONS

Johann Hari has written a well-researched nonfiction book entitled Lost Connections. After suffering for many years with depression, he was prescribed antidepressants and told that his depression was due to a malfunctioning brain that didn't produce enough serotonin. His doctor would increase the dosage when his depression worsened, only to experience short-term relief.  

In his quest to answer why he was depressed and why drugs didn't ultimately "cure" him, he began to meet with researchers worldwide. Hari discovered that there are many reasons people are depressed, most often because they have lost connections with other people. Often, they isolate themselves from others. Like Hari, they may have suffered from childhood trauma but felt too ashamed to discuss it with anyone. So, they buried their feelings.

Not surprisingly, studies have shown that we do not obtain happiness by acquiring beautiful houses, the most expensive car, fashionable clothes, etc. When we achieve those things, euphoria is short-lived until the emptiness at our souls' base is relieved by buying something else. Often, those with the most possessions still report feeling that something is missing. I live in an environment where materialism is highly valued, as seen in million-dollar homes and high-end vehicles covering the Hill Country's beautiful landscape. It sometimes feels as if someone dropped me into the Twilight Zone. I keep imagining Rod Sterling introducing my community with, "The people in this town did well in their lives. They worked hard, climbed the social and financial ladder, and retired to this small, exclusive resort town by a lake. In their retirement years, they still felt like something was missing. Unfortunately, they often die before realizing that being happy isn't related to how much you've acquired. Yet, happiness has everything to do with working with others to improve life. It's the connectedness that makes us happy."

Hari discovered that no matter how or why one becomes depressed, antidepressants do not cure us. Instead, the drug is like a band-aid that doesn't quite stick. I suffered from depression for many years and was periodically prescribed Prozac when sadness became overwhelming. At the same time, I also saw a therapist for an extended period, so I knew the cause of my depression was childhood trauma. Yet, I kept taking jobs that paid well but were highly stressful. Hari met researchers who interviewed thousands of workers and found that 87% of American workers hate their jobs. Those in the lower rungs of employment had higher rates of depression. Why? Because they had less control over their careers. But depression is spread throughout employment levels because Americans are working more, making less, and experiencing vast amounts of stress. In describing the biological component of depression or "brain malfunction," stress creates more cortisol, which increases anxiety, a primary element of depression. It can also wreak havoc on one's body and manifest various medical ailments.

I was chasing the American Dream, hoping success would alleviate my feelings of worthlessness. I also had chronic stomach issues that required medication in addition to prescribed drugs for depression and sleep. After my daughter left for college, I had the opportunity to live in South Africa. I sold my house, dispersed my belongings, quit a high-paying job, and moved. I took no medication within a few weeks, began sleeping well, and enjoyed exploring a new world. When I returned to the States, I again had stressful jobs, but I needed the break from the year spent abroad. Until recently, I thought my depression had lifted because I was on the other side of menopause, and the hormones were no longer creating a mind storm. Instead, it was because I had escaped the high-speed bullet train to success.  

Hari found a community in Berlin that brought its residents together to fight eviction and rent increases. In the past, they had stayed in their homes, not interacting with each other. There was a high rate of depression and suicide. When they banded together, their feelings of hopelessness and despair were lifted because they worked toward improving their circumstances. Many of us felt tribeless and homeless when we were younger and didn't have the language to articulate what was happening. We didn't feel we belonged to anyone or anything at our core. It's coming together for a common cause that brings meaning to life.

Hari's extensive research concluded that there are three causes of depression: biological, psychological, and environmental. Grief and depression are different, as are unhappiness and depression. It's natural to grieve for someone we've lost, and there's no timetable to "getting over it," as if one ever recovers from losing a loved one. Prescribing an antidepressant to someone grieving because they haven't recovered quickly enough is cruel.

I might be living in a town where materialism is highly valued, but I continue to march to my own drum. My place is modest compared to the majority of the residents in this town. Yet, I would score high if a 'happiness' test was given. I don't have all the answers, and I'm far from perfect, but working with like-minded people in this town as we try to make a difference in our community and country is enormously satisfying. We might be few, but we're mighty. Let them have their multi-million-dollar houses and expensive cars; they can't take it with them anyway! In giving ourselves, we receive the most satisfaction, and the feeling of hopelessness dies.