DREAMING OF HIM

 DREAMING OF HIM


Those we have loved but lost never really leave us.  We might think we see them walking down the street or hear their voice at the next table at a restaurant, but then reality sets in, and we realize it would be impossible since they no longer exist in this world.  If we’re fortunate enough, they sometimes visit us in our dreams.

I dreamed last night that I wrote a song about a man living on the first floor of his house while his partner lived upstairs.  He was slowly dying of cancer and could no longer use the stairs. My song was about their love for each other that would never die. I performed the song while playing a guitar, which is a far reach for me since I cannot do either.  I only wish I could remember the lyrics!

When I awakened, I realized the dream was about a man I once loved with all my heart.  He’s been gone from this earth for almost eight years, and while I’ll probably never love anyone as intensely as I loved him, I’m grateful that I had the experience.  The relationship worked for us because he felt the same about me.  Jack was probably the most brilliant person I ever met.  I suppose one would call me a sapiophile, which significantly narrows the field of potential partners.

Strangely, I’m in my happy place now, watching fierce waves, driven by strong winds, crashing into the sand in South Padre. The wind is so strong that the beach looks like a sea of sand moving in the opposite direction of the gulf waters.  

The island is full of retired couples from the Midwest who winter here, and I feel surprisingly lonely.  Last year, I invited too many people to come for a visit and felt overwhelmed, but now it’s too quiet. I miss the people I love, and I’m a little envious of all the couples walking the beach while holding hands.  

However, when I look at Paddy, who is firmly attached to me, I am reminded of Jack’s greatest gift…a beautiful, loyal, and loving companion. Who could ask for anything more?





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