MY DEAR FRIEND CARYL

 

I had been thinking of her for a few weeks but had not picked up the phone to check in with her. We had not seen each other in over two years, yet the sweet memory of our time together leaves me with an inner warmth that only the closest friends can invoke.  Today, she sent a brief email to tell me she missed our time together and hoped I was doing well. Without a thought, I called her, and my day was made brighter by hearing her soft voice.

 

I met Caryl almost seven years ago, shortly after I moved to Horseshoe Bay. Caryl hosted a writers’ group in her beautiful 130-year-old home in Marble Falls.  This group of 10-12 writers met once a month to share their work and give constructive feedback.  One of the members delighted in grammatically correcting others but didn’t take too kindly when the roles were reversed, which was always fun to observe.

 

Caryl is a quiet, unassuming poet and has honored me on many occasions by sharing her latest poem.  She has been published in numerous poetry magazines, and at age 88, she still receives requests from one of the publishers to submit a poem.  Her book of poetry entitled “When Someone You Love Dies” was published in 2018, and until today, when I picked up her book, I did not realize she had mentioned me in her dedication. While I remember reviewing the book at each stage before publication, she is the one who did the gut-wrenching emotional work of dealing with grief and writing about it.

 

Caryl’s beloved husband died suddenly many years ago after they had been married for 20 years. They had children, with one still living at home when he passed.  Caryl was a successful interior designer in Austin and moved to Marble Falls after retirement.  She completely renovated her lovely 1894 home by herself, which is now part of a tour of homes during the holidays.  One of Caryl’s sons died over ten years ago, and the other son has been battling cancer for the past few years but is now in remission.

 

Caryl told me today that she had a stroke a couple of months ago but has mostly recovered.  Unfortunately, she has felt weak and lethargic for the past few weeks and has yet to be given a diagnosis. 

 

You would never guess that this lovely, petite, quiet woman carries inside her unbelievable inner strength.  Caryl sings in the church choir and is part of a choral group that sang in Carnegie Hall a few years ago.  She has served on the historical board and volunteered at the museum in Marble Falls.  I have never heard her complain about the many losses she has experienced.  It’s the in-your-face people that receive all the attention.  Caryl deserves even more; I’m thrilled to call her a “friend.”

 

Her book was written for those who have suffered the loss of a loved one in the hopes that sharing her experience will ease their pain.  I believe she’s accomplished her goal. Below is one of the poignant poems from her book:

 

 

     THE LAST TIME

         By Caryl Calsyn

 

We waited that day to board a train

Family was there to say good-bye

To my husband, our son, and to me

 

Without warning I began to cry

My tears became unstoppable sobs

And spread like a virus to the rest

 

At the time I could not say why, but

my heart knew what they did not,

that this transient moment would be

 

the last time we’d all be together.

someone in the family would leave us.

I fervently prayed that I was wrong.

 

Several months later we all knew, 

why I had cried.  The one that would 

leave us was the man I’d married.