MY DAD’S KNEES


He must have been in a lot of pain the last decade or so of his life.  When my dad was in his 70s, his doctor recommended bilateral knee replacements due to advanced arthritis.  Dad told me he had heard that the surgery was excruciating, so he wanted to know what I thought since my education and career were in rehabilitation.  I was surprised that he even asked me, as he was in great physical shape from walking 18 holes of golf almost every day, and short-term pain is not a deal breaker for most people.

I told him that knee replacement surgery hurt, but he would recover after a couple of months of physical therapy.  However, since he had already decided he would be in great pain and mentioned it several times, I realized he might not be the best candidate because his mind had already determined how he would feel after surgery.  So, my dad decided against surgery.

Even though his knees were painful, he continued playing golf well into his 80s. I loved playing golf with him for several years before I moved to South Florida.  He played the game at an almost expert level and was an outstanding coach for me.  As he approached age 90, he used a walker on his daily one-mile walk and could no longer golf.

Dad spent his 91st year in a locked unit of the Texas State Veterans Home in a wheelchair.  He never walked again, began showing signs of dementia, and was in bed when I last saw him a few weeks before he died.  It wasn’t long after our visit that he stopped eating and drinking. Life was no longer of interest to him.  As usual, he was in control of his present and future.

I wish I had told him to have the surgery.  Not only would it have improved the quality of his life, but he would have been able to play golf for many more years.  He probably would have lived longer because of his love for golf.  However, we can’t go back and fill our days with “what-ifs” because things pretty much turn out how they should.  

Had he lived, though, Dad would have been one of those ancient 99-year-old guys still swinging a club, hitting the ball straight down the fairway, and landing on the green.



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