Rushing's Ramblings

Yesterday, a friend, who had recently read my book, called me a "risk-taker."  I thought about that label for about half a minute and knew he was spot-on. Immediately, I began to recall my solo trips to large cities when I was much younger and as clueless about my safety as I am now. The streets of Manhattan were well-known to me in my 30's and 40's. It wasn't unusual to enjoy a late dinner with colleagues and walk ten blocks or so to my hotel––by myself. For over a decade, there were cities all over this country and Europe where I would behave similarly, but I was young and foolish. I continue to be a risk-taker. Recently, I organized a march for gun reform in the town of Llano. Llano is the deer hunting capital of the world. Gun lovers hate liberals because they fear we're out to take away their guns. Heaven-forbid if bump stocks are ripped away from the cold hands of the average hunter. After all, they are a must for killing deer, especially if you...

While we were being distracted by the atrocities at the border and the upcoming trade wars (to name a few of the distractions), Congress is moving forward with draconian cuts to Medicare and Medicaid.  One of the "options" in their budget bill is to privatize Medicare. As someone with her entire career spent in healthcare, it is my experience that the patient will lose financially and healthwise if Medicare is privatized. Insurance companies will deny care for whatever reason they can invent.  If the insurance claim is rejected after the patient has received care, they will be billed, and if they don't pay, the provider will sue. After all, they're in the business to make money, not pay insurance claims if they can avoid it.  Medicaid provides services to the disabled and elderly, including nursing home care. All these benefits are being reduced or eliminated to pay for the tax cuts, which have been MOST beneficial to the 1%. You may have enough assets to pay $50...

It's not okay for children to be ripped from their parent's arms at our border. It's not okay for children to be locked up in cages and tents. It's not okay for children to live in tents with outside temperatures that could quickly kill them. It's not okay to punish children for their parents crossing the border illegally. It's not okay to allow people to purchase assault rifles and kill hundreds of schoolchildren. It's not okay to keep guns in a home while the teenage child remains unsupervised on the internet and becomes radicalized by white supremacy groups. It's not okay to have virtually unrestricted access to any gun one wishes to purchase. It's not okay to arm teachers with guns. It's not okay for Texas to strip funding from schools and pay teachers low wages. It's not okay to remain silent about what's happening to children in our country and state. It's not okay to have armed guards standing at the churc...

In graduate school, I worked nights at a suicide prevention call center. I heard desperation and pain from hundreds of people during my time there. The darkness of the night sky has a way of exacerbating feelings of hopelessness, deep sadness, and loneliness. On more than one occasion, I had to get on another phone while listening to a caller and ask the police to go to the caller's residence before they shot themselves, slashed their wrists, or overdosed. Even though I didn't share it with them, I knew how they felt. When I was age 14, I overdosed with the intention of falling asleep forever. I felt utterly hopeless. Even though I've experienced some low points over the years, I never reached that point again. I went through intensive counseling in my 30's and 40's and finally felt the clouds of depression lift from my shoulders about 20 years ago. I know how it feels not to want to continue living. The two latest celebrities who took their lives had mo...

He's a recent friend with whom I've enjoyed spending time occasionally. We attend church services together when we're both in town and usually have lunch afterward. I agreed to serve on a board he heads, and he decided to serve on a committee I co-chair. He mentioned months ago that he'd like to read a book I published in the fall of last year. Last month, I gave him an autographed copy, which he seemed to appreciate. However, the four or five times I have seen him have felt a little off since then. He'd make the same comment that he had started my book but couldn't get past the story about my father. I kept telling him there was no pressure to read it and that he had to stop reading it if it was unpleasant. The book has challenging parts, especially the childhood stuff and maybe the political chapter for those who don't share my beliefs. Some features of the book are not for the faint of heart. We went to lunch this past Sunday after church services. I ...

We all grew up in a small town in the Panhandle of Texas, about 55 miles northeast of Amarillo. I hadn't seen most of them for 50 years and some as long as 55 years, but I was game to meet fellow Blackhawks for dinner in Austin this past weekend. I was somewhat apprehensive, as I wasn't part of any clubs or cliques in high school, nor was I part of the "in-crowd." The folks invited to the dinner were the popular kids in school. The thought of meeting them for a meal would have never entered my mind 50 years ago, but it was probably something I longed for. It's only speculation on my part, as too much time has passed. We had approximately 40 girls in my class, and I was one of the few girls not invited to join a social club. In retrospect, I'm confident my father would not have allowed me to accept an invitation, so it didn't matter. I participated in a variety of high school activities. I took journalism and published a weekly column in the local new...

Remembering you When you were well And we had the world by the tail Remembering–– Your eyes meeting mine With your head moving side to side Like a puppy dog  As a joyful grin spreads across your face Never had anyone look at me that way Before or after you I miss how you loved me. Grateful we had each other Though losing you sometimes feels like hot needles Stabbing at my barely beating heart Remembering us–– Our brief moment in time How we marveled at our good fortune in finding each other Laughing and holding hands Feeling the power of love. Declaring it for all eternity on the Spanish Steps We thought it'd never end. Until your children, cancer, and death came calling. Memories spark as I run across a photo of us Taken somewhere in Europe Grief comes crashing in We once had it all, didn't we? Can you hear me? Maybe you do I miss you I miss us I miss love