Rushing's Ramblings

After an almost 20-month hiatus, I've returned to online dating. (My other dating-related blogs on this site are from several years ago.)  I did online dating periodically in South Florida and for 6 months in Seattle. It's a combination of curiosity and wanting to enjoy the company of someone of the opposite sex. I knew the Hill Country of Texas would drastically differ from the other two places. Still, I only realized the meaning of 'drastic 'in my first two dinners. I admit it. I'm a liberal and proud of it. Always have been and always will be. However, Texas is full of ultra-conservative/religious right (evangelical) people who voted for Trump, especially those living away from the large cities. Since I live in a rural area, I made it clear that if they were a Trump supporter, to not contact me, as our core values would not be compatible. I've never had to make such a statement in the past, as conservatives of days gone by were people with whom you could actu...

I feed at least 9 feral felines a day.  Four or five of the cats are black and white.  The smallest of the black and white cats stays on my patio at night and greets me in the morning.  Oh, I know; he could care less about me.  He's waiting to be fed. But this cat wants to be petted, too, and allows me to pick him up and put him on the countertop on my patio to be fed away from the other cats. Don't get me wrong.  I've never warmed to cats, but I can't stand to see little creatures suffer.  I know they can survive on birds, rodents, bugs, and worms, but I've heard that they get skinny in the summers until the Snowbird that feeds them 6 months out of the year returns from Minnesota.  I can't let them get thin, and I cannot live with the thought that they might not make it due to starvation. I've only lived in this small development of 30 townhouses in the Texas Hill Country for 7 months.  We're surrounded by wildlife.  Deer, foxes, and coy...

News from the online dating scene:  An 87-year-old man sent me a 'flirt' last night.  He stated that his wife of 64 yrs recently passed and he was a 'lonesome guy.'  He posted several pics of his wife when she was young and several of himself with her cut out.  There was one of him with his 4 daughters.  Oh yeah, and an aerial pic of his big house on lots of acres in Ohio.  Lord help me now!! I am doomed! lol

News from the Geezer online dating front:  I thought it would be at least an enjoyable dinner with a former professor at Cornell.  After a lot of disorganized, forgetful, and rambling conversation on his part, I asked him what kind of meds he was taking.  His response: "Diazepam (Valium), Ritalin, Zoloft, and marijuana. I also had a penile implant due to the side effects of Zoloft.  It cost Medicare $28,000 for the operation." (WTF?!!)  He asked when we could see each other again, and I softly replied, "We aren't."  Lord, help me now.  lol

More news from the online dating front:  This guy keeps texting me about meeting for lunch.  He very quickly starts making inappropriate comments of a sexual nature.  I tell him to stop immediately.  He texts, "You like to do it but not talk about it, right?"  I told him to leave me alone, as he was obviously mentally challenged.  His response: "You like to insult people." Sigh (now blocked)

Walking with Paddy is like having Santa on a leash. When people see him, they can't help but break out in a big grin at the sight of this big ball of silky fluff. After Paddy's hospice patient refused to see him (she's in her 90's with dementia), we saw an older man in a wheelchair. He was delighted to see Paddy. We had never met him before, but he was excited to see Paddy as a grown dog. He enjoyed remembering him as a puppy 4 years ago (he's 16 months). We never missed a beat and continued to reminisce about Paddy's early years. Sometimes it's fun to step into another's reality. Everyone leaves happy .

More news from the Geezer online dating site:  He just couldn't figure out why very few women wanted to date him, as he was 'such a good guy.'  I think I know.  About 30 minutes into lunch, he shared the following info: "I've been separated from my wife for several years.  She lives next door.  I hate her."  I inquired, "Why don't you get a divorce?"  He replied, "Well, I'd lose half my retirement funds."  Later, he asked, "So, when are we going out again?"  My response..."We're not."

Update on "news from the geezer online dating site":  Guy contacts me indicating interest. His profile states that he's very particular.  'Women can't be overweight and must have never even touched pot.'  Uhhhh...

News flash from the geezer online dating world: "sleeping" with someone for the first time has a whole new definition for those of a certain age...it's falling to sleep sitting up while watching the Nature Channel.  (Sigh) lol

Newsflash from the geezer online dating site:  Phone conversation with a 'potential.'  "I used to have money, but when you people voted for Obama, I lost everything I had (construction business).  I now live in a shack on 11 acres in an orange grove in Lake County, Florida.  My rent is $250 per month, and I work for my rich ex-wife in maintaining her properties.  I have emphysema, but I'm not on oxygen (yet).  I broke up with my last girlfriend because she wouldn't pay me for the work I did on her house.  When I kept calling her wanting my money, she turned my voicemails into the police, and I ended up on 6 months probation for stalking.  I just want a great relationship with a woman."  My response--, "I think someone is knocking on my door...gotta go."

Is it a bad sign if a guy on the first date yawns when you're talking?  I always thought I was interesting...lol.  And he didn't have yellow teeth.  darn.

Newsflash from the online geezer dating site: I went on a few dates with a Muslim guy from Turkey (nice guy, but nothing in common).  When I asked him what it meant to be Muslim, he replied, "I'm not a religious Muslim.  I drink alcohol sometimes and do not go to the mosque.  I suppose the only thing I follow is that I don't eat pork. However, I love bacon." Hmm...

I have the privilege of seeing patients smile every week the minute they see Paddy walk into the rehab gym or into the Nursing Home.  Some people have told me how wonderful it is that I'm doing this work. I have to tell them that it's Paddy doing the work...I'm just on the other end of the leash and selfishly basking in the joy he gives.  Paddy amazes me when he jumps up into the bed of someone too sick to sit in a chair.  There have been patients not speaking who suddenly started petting him and talking about the beloved dogs they had in the past. At the dog park, he seeks out the oldest, sickest dogs that are sticking closely to their owners.  He simply sniffs them and lies down beside them.  He was doing this when he was less than a year old while most dogs were running wildly in the park.  Oh, he loves to be chased and does the zoomies with the best of them, but he takes care of the infirmed before he gets to the frolicking part. And, even though ...

On our early morning walk to the ocean, we met a young, weary mother walking slowly with a baby in her arms.  A most unusual sight at 5:45 AM.  She haltingly asked me, "Taxi?"  And then, "No Police."  I asked her if she had just gotten off a boat from Haiti, and she said she had.  ((an illegal crossing). While I walked with her to get a taxi, I found out that the time in the boat was treacherous and frightening.  I don't want to hear about how we need to prevent illegal immigrants.  Not when you think about the courage it takes people to risk everything for a better life.  Our world should have no borders. If we had to, we would have done what this woman did.  Prayers for the mother and baby.

Paddy, a hospice therapy dog, has a patient named Betty. Betty died yesterday.  She had lived with MS for 30 years and could only move one knuckle in her right hand.  Even though she suffered the loss of her body and her husband's and daughter's death, she had a remarkably upbeat and generous spirit. I once asked her if she had ever been depressed because she was living in a nursing home.  She admitted that she did get depressed from time to time, but all she had to do was look around her.  In her viewpoint, everyone else was in much worse condition. She was 65 years old when she died. When we visited a week ago, she told me that she would be joining her loved ones in heaven one day.  Today's the day.  Rest in peace, Betty.  You were loved.

Newsflash from the online geezer dating site: I met a psychotherapist last night and hoped it might be a 'meeting of the minds' since I was a psychotherapist in Texas many years ago. (realized I was more suited to management). He didn't know at first that I was a former therapist. Within 10 minutes of the meeting, he told me that he had been sexually abused as a child, he and his parents were alcoholics (he's been sober for 30 years), he was in a messy divorce with his wife getting all the money, he was an amputee from a car accident years ago and that he was an expert with helping people recover from PTSD and could apply his technique within a few minutes to heal them.  He related that he was mentally healthy.  Hmm... I wonder if spilling your guts within a few minutes of meeting someone indicates mental health?  (not)  It lasted about 30 minutes, but it seemed like hours. Sigh.  Oh well, more material for the book!

Newsflash from the geezer online dating site:  "Dear Elliot, I'm sorry, but I won't be meeting you tomorrow.  It concerned me that you kept calling me Janet, even though I reminded you of my name twice. Then, you mispronounced my name as we ended the conversation. Best wishes in your search. Janet (I mean Dana)".  (He's a government employee, what did I expect?)

Newsflash from the Online Geezer Dating Site--Note to self:  When your first phone conversation with him starts with details about walking/talking with his father at age 10, it will be a long night.  After 45 minutes, I finally interrupted him and told him I had to get off the phone. I don't think he took a breath for 45 minutes, and he was only in his 20s by then. He asked if we were going to meet.  I thanked him for calling, but alas, it would never happen. Lesson learned---tell them upfront that you have only 10 minutes.  Good grief.

Newsflash from the online geezer dating site: We had plans to meet for coffee on Saturday.  Thankfully, he suggested that we first have a phone conversation. After listening for 45 minutes about how perfect his now-deceased wife was, there was a pause.  It was at that point I realized I had been sleeping. It's no wonder that I'm still single. I'll be having coffee by myself on Saturday! 😉

Newsflash from the Online Geezer Dating Site: Received an email this morning--  "Don't go out with him again.  He's married."  (WTH...who's married or which one is married and what would happen to me if I did?!!) I promise that I don't make this stuff up and I don't even share some of the best stories! lol

The latest in geezerland dating:  I told him that I fly 5-7 times a year to various places around the country to see friends and family.  He replied, "I don't fly anywhere because the government secretly flies people with Ebola on commercial airlines. Without cleaning the planes, they release the airplanes to fly the public.  The Russians have their finger on triggers to shoot down American commercial planes."  This is a guy with a Master's from Rutgers who apparently had a successful career with an oil company.  I told him I hoped he avoided shopping malls, movie theaters, schools, etc. because we are more likely to be killed by 'one of our own' than the Russians or Ebola.  Then, I got off the phone as soon as possible. I wonder if he's watched too much Fox News and listened to Rush for too long.  I swear...I don't make this stuff up.

While listening to a concert last night, thoughts drifted to my Grandmother and how much I wish I could once again hear her play the piano and sing.  It's been about 25 years since she died, but I can still hear her lively, high-pitched voice singing gospel songs while playing the piano.  Her talent was even more impressive because she had never learned to read music, yet she could play that piano like someone trained at Juilliard.  She was only 4'10", with one leg significantly shorter than the other, so her parents didn't send her to college as they did for her siblings. She was the smartest and most talented of all of them.  So today, I'm paying tribute to my Grandmother, Maggie Wright.  Love you. (Just a Closer Walk with Thee)

Sometimes I tire of questions about Paddy's status as a service dog (he wears a collar with bold "Service Dog" lettering).  Many people have no trouble asking about my disability.  People who know me are aware that I have significant hearing loss. Paddy alerts me when someone comes to the door or if someone is walking behind us. Last Saturday, a well-meaning but rude woman condescendingly responded to my answer with, 'all of us will one day have hearing problems.'  Well...mine started when I was young and had multiple ear infections, but okay, thanks for reminding me that I'm old! I decided to amuse myself the next time I was asked.  Paddy and I were in the mail room yesterday when a man approached me and, of course, had to go there.  I responded, "I have anger management issues, and he helps keep me calm."  He replied, "Oh really?  I also take [a prescription drug] for it."  That's what I get for being a smart ass. I couldn't...

I volunteer for the Fire Department on Tuesdays. My assignment is to do blood pressure checks at the local Senior Center.  Almost every time I'm there,  someone sits down and tells me their life story.  I figure my real role is to listen to people who might be lonely.  One man, in particular, has stopped by my table a couple of times for a blood pressure check and a short visit.  Yesterday was different.  His face and hands had abrasions on them.  When I asked him about it, he said he had fallen in the bathroom several times and that it might be due to low blood sugar.  If you could see the many lines on his 80-plus-year-old face and imagine that each of those lines represented experiences, you would understand that what he was about to tell me was a life full of rich experiences that have been followed by several years of extreme grief.   As he settled into his chair, he began to tell me about the 5 years he and his wife spent on his self-ma...

My father entered his senior year in high school just a few months before the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. One can only imagine America's heightened patriotism and profound anger during that time. This was a horrific act on American soil, and the winds of war were simultaneously blowing in Europe. As a 17-year-old male, he undoubtedly knew the role of defending our country in combat rested on young men's shoulders. Although he and his buddy had yet to graduate, they joined the Army just after his 18th birthday in March of 1942. After basic training, he soon found himself on a ship departing Seattle and heading to the South Pacific islands to help eradicate malaria-carrying mosquitos. Many of our troops were contracting malaria, thus posing a severe threat to our ability to combat the Japanese. He spent most of his time during the war island-hopping, although it certainly wasn't the island-hopping most of us dream of. He became an expert at identifying and eradicating malar...

I'm posting this as a public service to my friends and family who are on Medicare or know people on Medicare.  This is not a political statement, just an attempt to inform everyone about what's being planned by Paul Ryan, the Speaker of the House.  Ryan has for some time wanted to change Medicare in two steps.  First, he wants to privatize it.  Since he's a big proponent of drastically reducing/eliminating government entitlement programs, the long-range goal is to completely eliminate Medicare.  Privatizing Medicare means that Medicare monies would flow to the individual covered by Medicare (vouchers to go 'shop' insurance companies).  He/She would then select an insurance company to manage those funds.    I spent my entire career in healthcare and hospital management and experienced firsthand the evilness and greed of insurance companies. This happens when private insurance companies manage your healthcare: They will either deny services every ch...

(This essay was updated on December 4 and posted as a new essay) Our book club, composed of women with progressive views, recently discussed the possibility of meeting with Republican women in our fair city.  We are outnumbered 5 to 1 by the far right within the borders of our town, most of whom enjoy being in the top 1% of income.  If we were able to peek into the houses of some of those wealthy Republicans, we might find some women who vote differently than their husbands.  Our purpose would be to discuss shared values, as polarization has reached such an extreme that people are afraid to talk to each other when they know there are opposing views. Bringing people together has been on my mind for a while, and was first brought to my attention by a woman who identifies as a Democrat.  I dreamed last night that I approached the mayor about bringing people together with different political viewpoints to find common ground.  He seemed open to the idea but wante...

If I wept a million years/ Would it bring you back to me?/ "No," he whispered from far beyond/ Those wispy clouds hanging over me/ "That can never be."/ But maybe, just maybe, after a million tears/ I'll finally be set free...

A sweet little feral cat has adopted Paddy and me. She's been staying on my patio ever since I bought this place. I thought she was here because she loved us, but oh no, not so. There was a bird's nest under my rolled-up patio shades. Little did I know until today that this sweet-looking cat is a cold-blooded murderer. I saw her slaughter and eat three tiny birds this morning. I paid the Handyman from next door $5 to get rid of the nest because the thought of flapping birds in my face while a cat runs around and kills more baby birds freaked me out. Now, the cat is back, and it sounds like she is burping. Ewww...

Have you ever had random people tell you their life stories within minutes of meeting them?  I have, and it happens frequently.  When I traveled extensively for work at one time, my seatmates invariably unloaded on me.  I reasoned it was more comfortable for them to tell their struggles to a stranger rather than a friend or therapist.  And...since I was once a psychotherapist, I automatically switched into the listening mode. I was at the gas pump yesterday when I heard someone frantically calling, "Ma'am, oh ma'am?"  She must have been calling for me several times because the first thing she asked me was if I had a hearing problem.  "Why yes, I do," I responded.  She supposedly wanted to ask me if Paddy was a show dog.  I thanked her for the compliment but explained that he was a mixed breed. It didn't take long to realize that this was a way for her to reach out to me in a non-threatening way. She immediately shared with me that her husba...

I've been having difficulty with my back for the past two weeks, making walking very painful.  I improve slightly every day, but I'm limited in what I can do.  I'll see a doctor about it eventually, but having been in the hospital business for over 30 years, it takes a lot to see a doctor about anything. Therefore, I've had LOTS of time for research! A friend recently sent me an article by Caitlin Johnstone regarding the Deep State.  She's a writer/journalist living in Australia. She's neither pro-Democrat nor pro-Republican. I've had a lot of time researching this subject since I read the article,, and wanted to pass along some information. My other source is Mike Lofgren,, who wrote an essay entitled "Anatomy of the Deep State" in 2014.  He was a Republican Congressional staff member for 28 years. I've also been fascinated by the posts from Vanessa Beely, a London journalist currently in Syria. (Nothing we've been told by the media r...

I grew up in a tiny community surrounding Phillips Petroleum Company. All of our fathers were company men. We knew each other reasonably well, although on a superficial level. Most of the 70 or so of us went through all twelve grades together. There were 3 social clubs for girls and one for boys.  Membership was by invitation only.  Invitations to join were mailed the summer between the eighth and ninth grades. I had few friends in school, as I was more of a loner.  It didn't help my feelings of isolation, sadness, and shame when I would go to PE, don the required shorts, and hope that no one saw the bruises all over my legs.  Those bruises were far more profound than they appeared on the surface.  I was happiest reading books and living in an imaginary world.  It wasn't until adulthood that I realized I was chronically and clinically depressed as a child. I felt unloved, ugly, and fat. But mostly, I felt invisible.  It's a feeling that will sti...

It is one of those small-town dress boutiques much like the ones I loved when I was growing up in the Texas Panhandle.  This particular one is located in the Texas Hill Country and in a town even smaller than where I shopped as a young girl. She was working by herself yesterday as I entered the store, looking for something appropriate to wear to an outside Memorial in Dallas next week for fallen police officers.  When I told her I just wanted to 'look around,' I was thankful she gave me lots of room to roam. After going through all the racks in the store, I finally had to ask for help.  I told her where I was going and explained that being too dressy or casual was not an option.  Also, as learned from previous years, an outside ceremony held at noon can be pretty warm. She suggested several great options while telling me her story, beginning with, "I've lost 60 pounds over the past year."  I had noticed she was skinny, so I asked if she had been ill. ...

I hadn't lived in South Florida very long when I was invited to play golf with a group of women on Saturday mornings.  We would meet at one of the many beautiful golf courses in Palm Beach County, play a round, and enjoy a lively lunch afterward. I noticed her because she appeared older than most of the players and still enjoyed playing a good game of golf.  She had such a spirit of 'Joie de vie' about her that one couldn't help but want to be part of her circle of friends.  My good friend, the former VP of Patient Services for the healthcare system where I was employed, introduced us.  Her name was Christine, but she preferred to be called 'Chris.'  Chris was very involved as a volunteer with Bethesda Healthcare System and served on the Foundation Board.  Additionally, she and her husband substantially contributed to our children's rehabilitation programs. I managed Cornell Institute and a number of outpatient therapy clinics. A few months later, I was...

She drove across the country to Dallas in an old battered station wagon to attend a Benny Hinn 'Miracle Crusade' in Dallas. Her husband had Parkinson's disease, so they chose the miracle healing route rather than using conventional medicine. For a couple of years leading up to the road trip, she had contributed thousands of dollars to his ministry. She was convinced that if Benny Hinn could actually lay hands on her husband, he would finally be healed.  It was a cold winter morning when she loaded her bedridden husband and their three dogs in an aging station wagon and made her way to Dallas. They checked in at a nearby Motel 6. It took at least an hour to maneuver her husband into the room, take out the dogs, and ensure everyone was fed.  Her husband could not eat much due to the progression of his disease.  Parkinson's is not fatal, but the simplest task is impossible in the final stages. They don't die from it, but rather with it.  Swallowing difficulties of...

I had an inkling that things in Texas had taken a gigantic step backward as we entered Texas from New Mexico on our recent automobile trip across the country from the state of Washington.  Countless ranches were proudly displaying the Confederate flag along with Trump signs.  Since this was the day before the election and I had seen Trump signs in the rural areas throughout the West (without Confederate flags), I felt he would win.  What I didn’t expect were the Confederate flags that dominated the Texas countryside.  It was like rubbing salt into a fresh, gaping wound.  And, it wasn’t that Hillary would lose either.  It was that a man who represented everything wrong in this world would be the President of a country I love so much. I wanted to weep when I saw Confederate flags and Trump signs throughout Texas, When you’ve traveled all over the world and lived in another country, the love of this country becomes deeper.  You long for the beauty of o...

He tended his tomatoes with the love and care of someone who worshipped the earth.  When he brought them inside from his bountiful garden, your mouth would start salivating with anticipation of the first bite of the earthy sweet-smelling juicy red tomato.  My daughter Marcy reminded me of this memory of him when she brought home some 'organic' tomatoes and commented that the smell was like her Paw-Paw's tomatoes.  Sadly, this world will never again taste his delicious tomatoes, and it fills me with great sorrow that he's rapidly slipping away.  Oh, he'll recognize you at first, but then again, he's puzzled because you've 'changed' a lot.  He still thinks of us when we were young, then he lapses into real and imagined memories from long ago that he thinks happened yesterday. Aging can be cruel, but dementia is the bigger hell.  So...it's today that I honor him and thank him for his gifts from the earth.