THE SOPHISTICATED, BUT MISGUIDED WOMAN

I should know better after living all these years that you cannot predict who someone really is from appearances and casual conversations over 8 months. And for some, maybe never. At some point, either sooner or later, a person will reveal 'who' they really are. You just have to listen.

She is a well-dressed, well-educated, and soft-spoken woman.  She traveled in successful business circles for many years and entertained the upper-echelon crowd in a major Texas metropolis.  Most of her career was spent in start-up companies, where she held roles like Project Manager and Vice President of Marketing. Many of those companies are well known today. She was a successful businesswoman in a man's world.  There weren't too many women in those roles back in the day.

I suppose I at someone with a good education, a successful career, well-traveled, and sophisticated meant someone having traits like open-mindedness and tolerance. Boy, was I wrong.  It made me realize that I have my own prejudices, as well.

Approximately ten years ago, she and her husband retired and moved to a ranch in the Texas Hill Country.  Her husband was originally from the area and had inherited the ranch.  Unfortunately, he died a few years after they moved to the area.  She continues to live on the ranch and manages a politician's office.

She is a member of a church known for its openness and tolerance compared to other Christian religions. She's active in community organizations, fund-raisers, and festivities.  Her political leanings are conservative.

Four of us were having dinner last night when the subject of the burning building in London was discussed.  I mentioned that the building was the home of about 120-plus families, many of whom were Muslim.

She responded, "Well, I don't like Muslims much anymore." I thought her statement was a little odd considering the context of the discussion, so I asked her if her dislike for Muslims meant that it was okay for them to perish in a fire.  She hesitated as if to think about it.  Her following comment was, "Uh, no. I just wish they'd go away.  I don't care how."

I spent some time last night thinking about her response and wondering how many others have lost all sense of empathy and compassion.  You would expect this attitude from people who have mired themselves in hatred for anything not looking like or believing as they do, but I wouldn't have considered her part of that group…until now.

I've known a few people who were Muslim.  I enjoyed knowing them and getting to know about their beliefs. I've even read much of the Koran. The Koran, like the Bible, contains basic guidelines for how we're supposed to live our lives. It also, like the Bible, has passages that are not so pleasant to read. They believe in God, as do Christians. Muslims are human beings, just like the rest of us.  Some of them I really liked, and some I did not, but none of them were terrorists, and did not condone that behavior.  It has nothing to do with their faith or ethnicity.  Most decent people everywhere do not condone terrorists, whether they be Muslims or white supremacists, or even Bernie supporters.

And for those Muslims living in that building?  Many fled a country that was no longer safe to live in.  And…they were targets of their own government, other Muslims from different factions, and even our military.  Could this woman possibly imagine herself in a similar situation? What would she do if rebel factions (from any religion or ethnicity other than her own) took over this country and targeted her and her family, which caused her to flee to a safer country?  Would she want to be seen by the citizens of the safe country as a threat just because she was from the USA, even if she wasn't part of the group that targeted her and her family?

Living in this country and hearing the hate spewing from people's mouths is disturbing.  Evil isn't 'out there' somewhere, represented by people from a different religion or ethnicity, or country. Evil is right here in front of us.  It looks just like you and me.

I'm choosing compassion and empathy.  At the same time, I will try my best to understand the hate originating within my fellow Americans.  I know it's rooted in fear, but we must fight against that instinct and remain rational.

There but for the grace of God, go I.