LETTER TO GENEVIEVE

Dearest Genevieve,

On the first anniversary of your birth, your Mother has requested that we write you a letter to be opened on your 18th birthday.

You have been a wonderful baby. I already know ‘who’ you are, as evidenced by how you quietly observe people and your surroundings with a clear analytical mind.  Your inherent goodness is evident every moment of the day. I anticipate you’ll be a wonderful and loving child, giving your parents and grandparents hours of joy just watching you grow, learn and become the young woman you are today as you read this letter. 

You have a sweet soul. I predict that you carefully weighed any actions you took that were harmful to yourself or others.  And, if it became harmful, it wasn’t your intention.

As parents, our job is to provide solid and loving support for our children during their growing-up years so they can enter the adult world as independent individuals capable of meeting the inevitable challenges. You will soon enter college after 18 years of being protected and guided by your parents.  If the next 17 years are anything like the last year, I know your childhood was filled with unconditional love. I can see in their eyes an overwhelming sense of love for you as you reach out to them. It probably didn’t feel they had your best interests in mind when you were denied the things you wanted. Still, you are probably beginning to understand that ‘no’ came from wanting to protect you and/or teach you something you’ll know later.

You come from a long line of strong women.  Your great-great-grandmothers on the McGrew and Wright family lost husbands while still in their 50s, while your Great Grandmother on the Rushing side lost her husband in her 30s.  During those times, it was rare for women to work.  However, they picked themselves up, learned a trade, and continued.  

Great Great Grandmother McGrew had a 4th-grade education, birthed your Great Grandmother at a home for unwed mothers at the age of 16, and married 4 years later. Your biological Great Great Grandfather was chased out of town with a shotgun after her father discovered his daughter was pregnant by a Cherokee Indian. Indians were considered subhuman in the 1920s, and I’m not sure their plight is much better for many of them today.  Shortly after her last child graduated from college, her husband died.  She studied hard to get her certification as a nurse’s aide.  The day she was awarded the certificate was one of the happiest days of her life.

Your Great Grandmother Rushing had to become the sole wage earner after a car fell on her husband’s head.  Your Grandfather was only 18 months old.  She became a Medical Tech and X-ray Technician, working for meager wages while providing for her child.  Her life wasn’t easy, but with her strong encouragement, your Grandfather became a lawyer.  Life was hard for a widowed woman with a very young baby, as wages were meager for women. Even today, a woman makes only 80 cents on the dollar compared to a man in a similar job.  Your Mother is working hard to break that barrier. A few months before your Mother’s birth, her grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer that had already spread to her bones.  She adored having a granddaughter she could make clothes for and dote on.  Unfortunately, she died before your Mother was 4 years old. 

Your Great Great Grandmother Wright, who also lost her husband when she was in her mid-50s, did laundry and ironing at the local hotel to support herself after he died. Her brother and sister were allowed to go to college and become teachers, but since she was born with one leg significantly shorter than the other, she was denied that opportunity.  She walked two miles to work every day in snow or 100-degree weather. It would be at least 10 years after her husband died that your Great Grandfather and his brother-in-law installed an indoor toilet for her.  She never complained.  She would play the piano at night and sing in her high-pitched soprano voice.  She never learned to read music, but she could play piano by ear better than most trained pianists.  She was still living alone when she had a stroke in her late 80s, lost consciousness, and lingered in a coma for a few months afterward before dying.

Your Great Grandmother Wright returned to work after her third child started school.  She sold advertisements for the local radio station, worked in various positions at JC Penney, and then worked many years selling ads for the newspaper and creating the advertisement before it was printed.  She worked hard to learn as many skills as possible in each job.  She has enjoyed the times she’s spent with you this first year of your life.

Your maternal grandmother took that attitude with her as she began her college education.  She earned three degrees, all while working full-time at wages varying from $1.00 to $5.00 per hour to pay for her education.  Subsequently, she enjoyed a successful healthcare management career and provided many opportunities for your Mother as she grew up.

I also want you to know that I fought for what I thought was right…whether it's in the political or spiritual realm. The status quo was never something that I just accepted.  My thirst for knowledge and a strong sense of justice would never permit complacency.  Know that this is also in your DNA.

With this background of strong women, I know you will also succeed in whatever profession you choose.  A strength of will and a strength of character are the building blocks that form a solid base for you and the deep conviction that you are loved.

Your sense of service will also be evident as you watch your Mother and listen to how she responds to injustice and helps those less fortunate. Your Mother has been very successful, but it’s her sense of compassion that I am proudest of.  ‘Who’ we are is what is most important.  We can be well-educated and have successful careers, but if we don’t know that our purpose is to serve others, we’ve missed the point of a life well lived.

You will carry our legacy forward.  Some might think it’s a heavy burden, but I can assure you that the rewards are great. I’ve had an extraordinary life. A wonderful life is what I wish for you, too, my sweet Genevieve. I love you.

Much love,

Grandmama Rushing